I have realised too late – a disconnected blogger is an oxymoron. Despite the need to escape to another shore – to put the usual routines of life aside for a few weeks and rest – the absence of an internet connection makes enforced isolation from the blogosphere frustrating. It’s not because I cannot write – the keyboard works as well off-line and pen and paper has long been a favourite tool for spilling words and spinning phrases. But not being able to post immediately, on target, on message, on time – that is strange; it seems to clarify the raison d’etre of the blogger, the running commentary on life, the diary of entries making sense of NOW – today’s news not yesterday’s.
But I have to get my husband away from the internet every few months or with the pressure of reading 200 emails every day he wouldn’t rest at all. This is our Breton retreat, a holiday house by the sea. Down at the local bar we can get a connection for picking up electronic messages every few days, maybe posting a facebook status or photo… but am I so addicted I can’t leave it behind? No – it’s generally OK – though it is like going back in time and of course I do wonder what you’re all reading without me… (and hope you realise that is a joke! )
But withdrawal does cause re-evaluation of the motives for doing this stuff on-line. Creativity demands an outlet and like any art, writing is done not just for the personal satisfaction at making something, but for an audience, to test out what I’ve done on others and – just maybe – have a wider influence and voice. Surely that has to have some truth in it for everyone doing this unless it’s someone’s private journal – even if it does seem a little presumptuous when I say it like that. I never cease to be amazed that so many people put themselves and their opinions ‘out there’ for public consumption and often feel vulnerable and wonder why I’m doing it myself! But missing the ease of a quick post and the instant buzz of nailing something in black and white I realise that, just like any other sport, there is adrenaline involved!
Writing is a bit of a drug, then. Not writing a book or other worthy tome of course – I wonder if I’ll ever manage to apply myself for all the hours of work that will entail! That’s no quick fix, but hard graft and research, like building a castle compared to a quick house of cards. But keeping up a virtual profile and posting thoughts and stories is actually quite fun and makes me feel better about myself. So, just like having to choose between swings and roundabouts, in my escape from home routine, I’m missing the other escape I crafted for myself!
Perhaps, rather like a picture postcard, I’ll get to put this up before I get home. I depends whether the sun comes out anytime soon!
Longing to escape... 